You have landed on the battle ground, got yourself a M416 or QBZ. There are health kits with you, a 6x scope, and a car and no one can stop you from getting that Winner Chicken Dinner today! But suddenly you get drenched. The water washes you off in a waterfall and the cold nearly kills you. With that you wake up to realise that you HAVE to take a hsower today. It’s been a week!
With the cold and crunch that is there in the air, a lot of sluggishness also makes its way. Suddenly you are a human sloth, too inert to move! Of course, we are also lazy throughout the year.
Remember the time you just went on deodorant for three days because you were too lazy to take a shower? Or the other time when your girlfriend was waiting for 45 minutes and you lay on the bed, lying to her that you will reach in 5 minutes?
That’s okay! We all have done similar things at some point. But the winters are different. At this time of the year, taking a shower seems like a nighmate. Even if you want to, your soul refuses water. It is suddenly hydrophobic!
So after four-five days of no shower, lying wrapped in the warmth of your blanket you think, “well, I am not sweating, there is no humidity, so maybe not taking a shower for a week is okay”, and with that thought in mind, you stuff your face in the pillow, pull over your quilt and off you go to Dreamland!
Not taking a shower for this long, has its own perks of course. By the fourth day of the week, you are producing your own heat!
However, there are issues. Suddenly your bowel movement is a mess. You rather not have anyone in the house while you are using the washroom. But you do not realize the problem till the sixth day.
But all of this is forgotten as the day proceeds and you begin to slurp in all the winter savory, snacks and sweet dishes. By the seventh day, it is extremely uneasy for you, You don’t realize what the issue is.
Suddenly the blankets and wraps don’t feel that comfortable, you are itchy and your skin looks like that of an alligator’s. You sit on your bed frown-faced with the entire situation only to realize that it is time.
It is time to bid farewell to this nonchalant life, say goodbye to your blankets and pillow. You think of all the brave heroes, the Avengers and how they fight the evil as you are about to do now. The background scores from the various war movies you have seen come drifting to your mind. You finally pull yourself out of the bed and go to the bathroom for a shower.
The bathroom feels like the land of the dead’s, cold, damp, spine-chilling, literally. But you have now become unbearable to yourself! You don’t look like yourself anymore and it is only the shower that can restore you to your former glory! It is not easy, we know, and you are brave enough to take the step. So here are a few hacks that you can use to keep the process as painless as possible.
But who says it has to be a full fledged top to toe shower, there are hacks you can use so that you don’t get roasted in your own heat this winter: So my friend, win the winters with the following bath hacks!
- The Jumping Frog: You dont have to stand under the shower and wet your body! Get the shower started in full swing and just jump in it and hop out of it! Viola! You have survived this shower. You are all set for another 2-3 days of no bath with that!
- The Face Shower: Well it winters, most of your skin is covered in woolens. Who cares if your skin is cracking open like parched soil?! All people can see is your face! So why not just clean that with some soap and cream? Its better for the men. Make your own No Shower December after No Shave November!
- Hot Swing: Since its insanely cold outside, get things ‘Heated” in your bathroom. Set your geyser to give out the “hottest” water. As the water melts away your skin and your skeleton
isrevealed, you sigh and say “perfect”.
- Water Be Nice: Remember when you met a girl the last time? You did not reveal all about yourself on the first date right? You started off by pretending to be a matured adult and then took a few more days to show her your G.I. Joe collection. Likewise, get to know your shower. Stick in your foot first, then your hands. Finally push in your head and you are done!
- The Deodorant Shower: Why do you own so many fancy bodysprays if you cannot use them now!! Who the hell is coming to sniff you anyway! Just drench yourself in a bottle of deodrant and go back to sleep!
After you have finished with the shower and crossed the biggest hurdle known to man during the Winter days, you walk out of the bathroom like a war hero. You can almost imagine yourself like the Avengers and Justice League. Finally, you can moonwalk to your bed and under the covers, till next time!